What’s wrong with my karma?

My lawyer friend Sharon came over, and we had Chinese food. I received a stupid message in my fortune cookie: “Listen attentively. You will come out ahead in the next few days.” But Sharon gets:

Why didn’t I get this cookie? Is it because an alien already did appear to me this week? (Remind me to tell you about my cyperpunk-author friend Lew Shiner and his theory about Zirconians.)